Plain Language Humor: Nine Easy Steps to Longer Sentences | U.S. Plain Language Action & Information Network

This amusing article has been around for awhile. But I still enjoy it -- and its not-so-subtle message.

You can follow the steps at the link, but it begins this way:

Are you tired of short, direct, and simple sentences that seem to take forever to fill up a page? Are you paid by the word? In either case you can benefit by increasing the number of words in your sentences and the bulk of your writing. And it's easy if you just follow nine simple steps, many of which you may already know and practice.

To show how easily you can apply these steps, I'll start with the following ludicrously short and simple sentence and increase its verbiage step by step.

More night jobs would keep youths off the streets.

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For more advice on clear, concise writing, check out Garbl's Plain English Writing Guide. It covers the topic in these steps:

• Focusing on your reader and purpose
• Organizing your ideas
• Writing clear, effective paragraphs
• Writing clear, simple sentences
• Using suitable words
• Creating an enticing design
• Testing for clarity